Since I was little, I have always dreamed of having a big love story. Finding someone who would make everything memorable would make me laugh, cry, and still be there for me when I most needed it—the typical rom-com. But then reality comes to life, not as we see in movies. Most of us think the most crucial thing with love is finding the right person to have a fantastic love story. And I think it is not that important. The best love story we will all live on will be with ourselves.
Self-love is the best love. I know how often we have heard or read that exact sentence, and it feels like a mantra. But do we understand the meaning behind it?
Loving ourselves is not easy. It is like a love story with ups and downs. First comes the sparkle you know when one day you look at yourself in the mirror and think there’s nothing wrong with yourself. I am perfect. And the more you look, the more you like it. It is like having a crush. You can not stop obsessing about it. But then, from nowhere, someone comes and starts putting all these evil thoughts in your mind. Am I that perfect? You start questioning everything about yourself. And all the things that you thought made you that perfect in your eyes are not good anymore.
And the questioning began. Why am I so loud? I look so fat! My hair is too different. My boobs are too big. And so much more. It is like realizing that you would never be able to be with your crush since that person is famous or even a character in your book. You convince yourself that a love story will never happen.
But then the first love arrives. Everything feels like the end of the world. The day you look once more in the mirror and fall deeply and madly in love with yourself. That kind of love is the one that makes you experience everything. When you make love to yourself and feel passion for something, the type of love makes you believe that you can do everything you propose yourself to do. But this is also the kind of love that makes you naïve and, most of the time is not sustainable. And like this, it was already gone as fast as it came. It felt like a whisper in the wind. All those dreams and words you told yourself and felt like the best story didn’t matter anymore. Those pink glasses that you were wearing were suddenly broken.
And once more, the questioning began. You ask yourself how you can change so fast. It feels like there are multiple personalities inside of you, and that starts making you feel insecure. You are not sure of yourself anymore. That part of you that pushed you to do more of the passion that used to be in you was suddenly gone. And you are heartbroken. You feel sad and miserable and try to fix it by replacing all those feelings with other things and turning your head to the other side, thinking it will go away. But it doesn’t. The more time goes by, the more painful it feels.
And then one day, without even noticing step by step, you fall in love again, but this time is different. Because you are not looking for perfection, you admire the good qualities, accept the bad ones, and realize what makes you insecure. It is something that deserves worshipping.
Self-love is not easy. Like any other love story, it will have there ups and downs. There will be moments when you doubt yourself, which can take a while. Like any relationship, it needs to be nourished and taken care of. Think about it as if it was a house or an architectural structure. You need a healthy bone structure to ensure it works for the longest time.
So here is my advice before looking for a partner and having a crazy love story. Take care of yourself first. You know the most fantastic and extended love story will be with you.
